it's 11:30

we're moving house. the new place is a bit dark, so I'm having sky lights put in and am arranging it all in between the rest of life i.e. perhaps too efficiently & without getting proper references & all that

'residential' - that's too small a job for the fitters who come recommended by the sky light company, so they recommend someone else.

someone else conveniently also happens to know a roofer, a plumber, a plasterer and an electrician. brilliant. unfortunately, whenever i ask the question about costs he's a bit evasive.

me: 'right. so just to be clear I can count on the following - you all charge very reasonable rates, you're extremely reliable, show up when you say you'll show up and you're all extremely goodlooking, are you?'

someone else: 'sure. we're not here to make money out of you'

(me: 'yes you are' someone else: 'OK I admit - we can't do this entirely for free')

someone else: 'i suggest you put the diet coke in the fridge, let us get on with the job and you can decide which of us is the best looking'

huh??

OK

i suppose i asked for that....

fairy tales

tonight, youngest had another tooth on offer. under his pillow it went; placed very carefully, exactly in the middle.

half an hour later, he was downstairs again. 'i want to write the tooth fairy a letter. i want to ask her what her name is.'

'to mrs tooth fairy
thank you for coming
love youngest
ps. wats your name?'

thankfully, i discovered how one finds out one's tooth fairy's name. (how on earth did we ever survive before google?)

'dear youngest

what a lovely surprise to find your note! you are a very special boy and I adore your teeth!

my name is Fuss Icewasp. I protect the vulnerable and bring justice to the wronged. I wear red with white spots, like toadstools and I have icy blue butterfly wings. Thank you so much for your tooth!

love, Fuss xxx'

Escargots

Oudste moest 'gips happen'. Arm kind! Gelukkig was het spul roze van kleur en de mal was oranje (speciaal voor haar chauvinistische moeder). Ze vond het maar helemaal niks. Al kokhalzend riep ze: 'it tastes like snails!'

daar moest de zuster om glimlachen.

toen riep ze: 'no, it's worse! it tastes like uncooked snails!!'

de blik op het gezicht van de zuster, daar moet ik een week later nog om gniffelen.